They stole a freagin' ship...

We were playing our first campaign every and ran into a pack of orcs that ambushed our crew. After dispatching of the orcs, we continued along our trail. However, the barbarian dwarf happened to spot the tracks of the orcs and where they had come from. He decided to go after them to finish the job if there were anymore. I, as a half-ling rouge, decided to join him for reconnaissance and to make sure he didn't do anything stupid while the rest of the party  continued on.

As we traced their trail back to a river, we came across a huge warship that was manned by several gnomes. They were busy going about fixing the ship and general activities to notice us. I waded into the bushes to see everything I could. This was the group that was fighting against the crown, hoping to take us out in the process since we were the hired hands. 

But the barbarian decided that he was perfectly capable of taking on an entire warship of gnomes, bellowed and ran into the opening with war-hammer high. I sighed and sprinted after him to make sure I didn't get stabbed from behind, I know how much damage that can do.

The gnomes see the crazy barbarian running straight at them and they pull the door closed to the metal warship, making it an impenetrable fortress. But wait... the dwarf has a grappling hook.

"What?" asked the GM, "Uhh, roll for it."

A natural twenty was rolled and the dwarf stormed the boat. And naturally I followed along. The ship was essentially a tank, so we wandered the top as it went out into the river. We could hear the gnomes scurrying about underneath, so we wandered to the front of the ship. I spoke gnome so I could hear random tid bits of "Oh god, they're on the ship!" and "What the hell is going on? Where are the orcs?"

The screaming got extra loud when the dwarf decided to stick his face in the port hole of the ship's navigation room, his beard sticking into the tiny slot. It was to small, even for the likes of my half-ling form, so we went back to the top. We found a hatch that led to the innards, and I used my slight of hand to enter into the locked door.

As we made our way inside, the gnomes continued to freak out and scream. The dwarf dropped down in his full raging glory, and I snuck in behind him. The gnomes sprinted from the control room, grabbing their harpoon guns and shouting in gnomish. 

The dwarf was hit by two harpoons in the chest, but still stood. The other gnomes began to toss gnome-fire at the dwarf, engulfing him in flames. I was hiding behind a few crates of goods, making sure I was unseen as a good rogue does. When the fire erupted, I used my magical dagger that had a special ability to extinguish flames in a fifty foot radius. 

To the gnomes that were attack us, they saw a single dwarf with a war-hammer storm their ship, peak into their control room, break inside their tank of a ship, take two harpoons to the chest that were still tethered to the guns, and was not harmed by their fire by the slightest. They were essentially SOL. 

The dwarf grabbed the rope of one of the harpoons in his chest, and pulled the gnome to him with a mighty strength check. The gnome went flying towards the beast and landed in front of him. And the dwarf, I kid you not, curb stomped the gnome and said, "I am your captain now."

The gnomes screamed in disgust, "Oh shit, they killed Steve!"

The table turned to the GM and asked, "Steve?"

"Lay off of me, none of this was planned I was just free-ballin' it for the last hour."

And that is how we broke the game and obtained a warship for our conquest across the world.